Time to Think by Nancy Kline
My rough summary: I needed this book, and still do – in the right (or wrong) circumstances I can talk all the legs of several donkeys and tend to interrupt people when I’ve had a (supposedly) good idea! Time to Think helped me to shut up and listen a bit more, but I still need to work on it. This is a book about how to help people gain insight, ideas and confidence through listening – great book for anyone in the workplace. And, guess what, the way people act in The Apprenticeis not best practise.
- One of the best moments in meetings like this is the sudden new flash of an idea across someone’s face in the middle of their own sentence. Knowing they would not be interrupted, they have relaxed somewhere, they have loaded up their hearts with a bit more than usual self-esteem and they speak. As they speak, they have time to hear themselves. They think because they speak. Often it is in that same moment, when the adrenaline-infused, self-promoting listener, desperate to interrupt, suddenly deflates with a thud.
- This training of men to be real men by denouncing much good human behaviour is based on the assumption that these human characteristics are somehow female. And the key thing boys and men are told never to do is get themselves confused with a woman.
- Timed Talk at a Glance – Do these things without fail: Set a timer for three minutes. Take turns talking, three minutes each. Take as many turns as necessary to resolve the issue. Do not interrupt each other or take over each other’s turn, no matter what. If you don’t need all of the time in one turn, save it for your next turn. Stop talking the instant the timer goes off. …The Timed Talk process is not just for fights. It also fuels creativity. It progresses ideas.
- Prize the quality of your attention Listen as if your leadership life depended on it. It does. When you make mistakes, listen to the effects of them. Apologize. Correct them. Appreciate five times more than you criticize. Stop competing with your colleagues. Encourage their excellence. Trust that your own will be evident.
How I’ve used this book: Again, I need to use this more – I have tried to give my attention better to people, especially people in my team at work e.g. leaving room for people to think/talk more about what’s on their mind in staff meetings.